guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize