Are we in a gay sports bar?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
