Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
