i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
