he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
