Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
