If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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