I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
