Sponge bath it is.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Randomize
