hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
