this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
