Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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