I accidentally had phone sex last night
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize