Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Randomize
