I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
