You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
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I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
