I hate your face
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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