I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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