Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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