Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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