When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize