the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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