Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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