I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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