Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
