Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
