Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
