fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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