Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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