In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I feel great
I just peed on a car
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
