I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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