I bet he comes in French.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize