so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's official drugs can't kill me
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
