Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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