the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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