is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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