i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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