What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
