so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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