Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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