walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
