You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
