Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
