OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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