took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
