Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
