theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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