2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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