my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
