the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
