its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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