absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
