it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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