I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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