My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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