its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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