And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
either way he was missing a nipple.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
