we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Be still, my beating vagina.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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