She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
